Even the word “kink” has some negative connotations, but most types of kinks are far more common than you’d believe. We live in a society where we’re simultaneously super open (looking at you, social media) while still being shamed for being “too” openly sexual, especially as cisgender women.
But part of what we do is break down the barriers and dissolve the stigma that can stop you from having a great sex life.
So, let’s talk kinks.
Virtual sex is one of those types of kinks that people find a little bit more benign than others. Virtual sex is a catch-all for any sexual activity involving the internet — either done through the internet (think: sexting or masturbating over the phone) or on the internet (think: internet porn).
It is a massive category because there are a lot of ways that you can involve the internet in your sex life.
Virtual sex is a form of exhibitionism because there’s something super sexy and empowering about showing yourself to someone else. While exhibitionism gets a bad rap as being only for creepy dudes in trench coats, true exhibitionism always includes consent.
But just remember — what you put on the internet stays on the internet.
Role play is another common kink, especially because you can do it in many different ways. Although many people think of role play as something you do when your long-term relationship has gotten stagnant or stale, you really can (and should) do it anytime you want!
Here are a few suggestions for dressing up your role play:
- Professor and student
- Football player and cheerleader
- Client and sex worker
- Masseuse and client
- Doctor and nurse
- Boss and secretary
- Homeowner and plumber
BDSM, an acronym for Bondage Dominance Submission and Masochism, is mainly known for being “that” kink from the Fifty Shades of Gray book.
But BDSM is so, so much more than just a red room filled with whips, chains, gags, and blindfolds. Plus, let’s be honest; the actual dynamic in that book was pretty unhealthy.
The true art of BDSM is in the power exchange, where the submissive partner relinquishes control to the dominant partner.
In real life, sexual objectification is an awful thing (and not at all kinky). When you’re into being objectified or have a kink for objectifying your partner, you take control of that feeling and turn it on its head. If you get sexual gratification out of being treated like a “piece of meat,” you may be into objectification.
Voyeurism is the flipside of exhibitionism. With voyeurism, watching is what gets you off. This can take a few different routes. Cuckolding, where you’re “forced” to watch your partner have sex with someone else, is considered a form of voyeurism.
Yes, sadism/masochism is included in the overall BDSM category, but,you don’t have to really pull out that power dynamic to enjoy adding a little consensual pain in the bedroom. Plenty of rough sex involves some sort of hair pulling, spanking, and the like.
Sadism/masochism takes it up a notch, involving instruments explicitly meant to create pain in a sexual context. You can use paddles, whips, nipple clamps, and plenty of other tools, but feel free to use your imagination.
If you’ve not heard of this kink before, sadism refers to getting pleasure out of causing pain (and sadists are people who do that), while masochists are the people who find it a turn-on to be hurt (i.e. masochism).
With sadomasochistic sex, you must come up with a safe word or color (like “red” meaning “stop”) with your partner. That way, if the impact play is becoming too much for either of you, you can simply drop the word, and everything will stop.
If you involve traditional sex (especially anal sex) in your sadomasochism, you should still use plenty of lube. You don’t want to do permanent damage!
Listen, either feet are your thing, or they’re not. No one is trying to talk you into a foot fetish. But if you think you’re the only one with a foot kink, you’d be very wrong. Plus, it’s just a body part, right?
Although it’s hard to say how many people are into feet, it’s estimated that it’s probably about one in seven. Generally speaking, gay and bisexual cisgender men are most likely to have a foot fetish, followed by heterosexual cisgender men.
Yet another part of the BDSM community is the idea of dom/sub relationships. Like sadism and masochism, you can explore dominance and submission without having pain involved.
An interesting part of this power dynamic is that it is the person in the submissive role who has all the control. No matter which sexual acts are performed, including a safe word means the sub gets to say how long the play continues.
It’s so much more than just kinky sex and dirty talk, right?
Golden showers (AKA watersports) are one of the most maligned kinks out there, but we can’t say why that is.
Yes, golden showers involve a bodily function that most people don’t like to discuss (urine, which really isn’t even the “grossest” bodily function). But, like any consensual kink, if both parties agree, it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks about it.
The first part of enjoying a golden shower kink is coming up with when and how you will practice it. Obviously, this kink can get a little messy. Some people like to break out the rubber sheets, while the cleanest way to do it would be in the bathtub or shower. Also, ensure that the person urinating drinks plenty of water before and after. Hydrated urine smells much, much better.
✨Word of the day — enjoying being peed on or watching someone pee is known as urophilia.✨
Orgasms are amazing, mind-blowing, powerful things. Edging can take them to another level, making them curl your toes and send shivers up and down your spine. What is edging, you ask?
Edging is the practice of temporary orgasm control and deprivation, followed by finally allowing yourself to go over the edge. It can also be a potential treatment for premature ejaculation in people with a penis.
Essentially, edge play follows a fairly set pattern:
- The person being edged is stimulated until they can feel their orgasm starting to build.
- Once they’re close to orgasm, stimulation is reduced or stopped until the sexual arousal has gone away.
- Stimulation is increased again, bringing them close to orgasm.
- Rinse and repeat until you’re ready for them to blow their top.
If all goes right, by the time the orgasm finally happens, it’ll be the best orgasm of your life. Try our Awaken Arousal Oil to up the sensation even further (though we can’t promise this pleasure-inducing oil won’t take you right over the edge).
If you think you’re the only person in the world with your specific kink, think again. Most kinks and fetishes are far more common than you’d think, and you’d be surprised by just how many people share something with you that you think you’re alone in.
Instead of judging yourself for something you likely can’t control, we hope this list of the most common types of kinks gives you the confidence to talk to your partner about making them a reality.
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