Guide to Getting It On Outdoors

The great outdoors calls to all of our senses in summer. It’s a wild time of year: vibrant, sun-drenched, everything growing like mad, full of delicious smells and freak thunderstorms – a reminder of the power of nature, and the power of the earth in us.

Add skimpy clothing, a sheen of sweat, and languorous heat to the mix, and that all sounds sexy as heck to us.

So… want to take it outside? 

Why do it in the woods?

Or on the beach, or on a mountaintop, or in our own backyards? Sex outdoors is spontaneous, primal, and undomesticated. When our everyday lives are governed by screens and schedules, reveling in our most elemental humanity in the elements can remind us that we belong to ourselves – not our bosses, bills, and other very modern worries.

For millennia of human history, everyone made love outdoors at some point. Unless you were very wealthy, having a dedicated room only for you and your partner was an unimaginable luxury. With multiple generations, animals, and belongings sharing limited space, the fields and hedgerows were often the only places people could get a little privacy.

In modern times, it’s the opposite. Bedroom doors that close are much more common. Wild places are too scarce – and infested with park rangers and intrepid hikers. So if you want to indulge your animal lusts in nature, as nature intended, you have to get a little creative and plan ahead.

Location, location, location.

When you’re talking to your partner about getting it on outdoors (you are having that conversation first, right?), let your imaginations run wild. 

Always wanted to have sex on the beach at sunset? Is there a makeout spot in the woods near where you grew up? How about your own backyard? It’s a great big world, and although true wilderness is becoming too rare, there’s still plenty to choose from.

The beach. They named a cocktail after seaside lovin’ for a reason. The pounding heartbeat of the surf is sexy, the breeze is balmy, and that particular sticky, salty, beachy feeling that seems to seep into your skin after a day by the ocean is a major aphrodisiac. 

Many people say sex on the beach is overrated, but many of those people also say they forgot to bring a proper blanket and ended up involuntarily exfoliated by towel grit. Don’t be those people.

The woods. Whether it’s the true forest primeval or one of those forgotten parcels of overgrown land that still exist even in urban environments, woodlands have a lot to recommend them for sex outdoors. Trees allow for leverage and creative positioning, and they also offer shade and privacy (how considerate of them!) 

Just stay off private property and a good distance from public trails, and commune with the Old Ones of the Woods in your own special way. 

Under the stars. Get far, far away from city light pollution so you can behold the grandeur of the cosmos, and the darkness will also conceal you from prying eyes. Camping trips are great for outdoor sex – you can get to know your site very well, and pick the perfect spot to come together under the Milky Way. Also you’ll likely have sleeping bags – ground protection is extra-necessary for nighttime pleasure outdoors, so nobody kills the mood by rolling onto a rock.

Your own backyard. If you’re fortunate enough to have one, your yard can offer a taste of nature with all the comfort and convenience of home. And you’re never too old to have a sleepover in a tent, either – who cares what the neighbors say?

Speaking of neighbors, though, security camera surveillance has become ubiquitous in suburbia, and even cheap cameras can come with good night vision. To be extra-sure your sensual adventures don’t end up on the internet, a tent is probably your best bet here.

Which brings us to…

 

Safety, Legality and Ethics

Sex in public – any kind of public, be it a national park or a gas station bathroom – is illegal in most places, so a romp in nature always involves a legal risk.

Additionally, it is Not Cool to involve unconsenting parties in your sex life if you can avoid it. The risk of getting caught is part of the turn-on when it comes to sex in nature, but the “risk” bit is the fun part. The “actually getting caught” part is not, whether it’s by the police, a senior varsity cross-country team, or someone living outdoors who would rather be left alone.

In addition to the human factor, there’s also the possibility of prickly bushes, poison oak or ivy, scratchy sand, biting bugs, larger wildlife, the unexpected arrival of high tide… nature is wild, and that’s what we love about it, but we also need to respect its unpredictability.

So how can you have sex outdoors safely?

Scope your spot. This can be a lovely gift for a partner you want to surprise with some screaming outdoor orgasms (provided you’re on the same page about sex in nature). Explore your chosen location a few times, at different times of the day, to see what and who is around. Check out foot traffic, No Trespassing signs and eyelines, and the best places to bed down discreetly. Then lead them by the hand… and.

Plan an exit strategy. What will you do if you’re interrupted, whether it’s by the Law or a sudden cloudburst? “Run like hell” can get you lost (or aggravate the charges), and running like hell naked can land you on the internet if you stumble across hikers with cameras. Wear easy-access clothing that goes on as easily as it comes off, and remember how you got to your trysting place so you know how to get back.

Bring a vehicle. Car sex is great – car sex in the wilderness is even better, because you can park and ride (each other) and be sure you’re protected from the elements as well as prying eyes. Hang a few blankets over the windows and passers-by will be none the wiser, unless you’re really taxing those springs.

Check the weather report. Especially if you’ve wandered far off your usual beaten path, sudden rains and flash floods can take you from “ohhhh yes” to “OH NO” very quickly. If it’s hot, heatstroke can come on quickly and be very dangerous, especially if you’ve hiked a good distance. Prepare as if you’re planning a vigorous outdoor workout – because you are!

Keep track of your belongings. You may have just had the best sex of your life, but the memory will be forever tarnished if you’ve kicked your car keys into a river.

Be Prepared!

It’s an unfortunate fact that in our hectic modern world, we have to plan for unbridled spontaneity. However, preparation pays off when it comes to getting it on outdoors. 

At minimum you’ll want a quality blanket; reputable outdoor retailers have lots of options for durable ground cover that packs light and won’t attract burrs. A simple pillow or two are nice to have, and clothes that let you get (mostly) naked while leaving your boots on.

Insect repellent is necessary, though the heavy-duty chemical stuff tastes terrible and isn’t good for you. Try lemon, eucalyptus, cinnamon or lavender-based natural repellents, or good old citronella. (Not candles, unless you’re at home – it’s a time of wildfires, so don’t end up a tragic national news item.)

And getting out of your comfort zone can be a real turn-on mentally and emotionally, but your body may need some help catching up. Slip in an Intimacy Melt before you hit the trail, and be ready to go by the time you arrive at that perfect woodsy hideaway. Definitely don’t forget the lube, or cover all your bases with our Quickie Kit, which was created for all your sexy adventures away from home – under a roof or under the stars.

We think that life could stand to get a whole lot dirtier, so find you some dirt and get in it.

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