Sex is all about having fun with your partner, especially when you’re in a long-term relationship. While there are plenty of benefits to sticking with what works, it can also lead to boredom in the bedroom.
Discovering new things to try in bed can spice up your sex life and bring you closer to your partner, especially if you can approach them with a sense of humor! Here’s a list of 12 ideas to get you started.
Try them all and see what works for you. And don’t worry, we’ve steered clear of the classic albeit boring ideas like “try some lingerie,” “grab a blindfold,” or “have you tried dirty talk?” We know you want more.
What Are the Benefits of Trying New Things in Bed?
Long-term relationships take work, and anyone who tells you they’re easy is lying. The happiest relationships are those where both partners feel valued, safe to be vulnerable, and there is constant growth in the same general direction.
Finding new things to try in bed keeps the sparks alive by ensuring neither of you loses that urge to be intimate with each other. Even if you’re both regularly achieving orgasms, sex can easily become a chore. Spicing things up can stop this from happening and keep things fun and exciting.
New Things To Spice Up Your Sex Life
It’s all fine and good to talk about spicing up your sex life, but what exactly does that mean? If you’re at a loss where to start, here are a few ideas to get your motor running. Remember, always start with communication because consent is sexy.
1. Use Lube
If you’re a vagina owner, you probably don’t think much about your natural lubrication when the juices are flowing. But getting wet and staying wet isn’t guaranteed, making lube a massive benefit in the bedroom.
Lube isn’t just for traditional P-in-V penetration, though! You can use this sex aid for masturbation, with sex toys and vibrators, and all sorts of anal play. Lube can even double as a massage oil for fun, slippery foreplay!
2. Take a Pic
Trying new things in bed doesn’t have to be confined only to the bedroom. If you’re looking for ways to build anticipation or remind your partner how lucky they are to have you, take a pic!
You can make them anything you want, from fully clothed and teasing to downright dirty. Even professional boudoir photographers will take erotic photos for you, and research has shown that it can be incredibly empowering and self-confidence-building. We love to see it.
If you’re bored in the bedroom, why not try being someone else? Roleplay is definitely a way to help spice things up because you can be anyone you want.
Go out to the bar and pretend to have a one-night stand with each other. Roleplay that you’re the boss and he’s your assistant. Explore changing up traditional gender roles. The sky is the limit.
4. Play With Control
Research has shown that at least half of the people studied are excited by the thought of sexual submission (either submitting themselves or having their partner submit). You can also explore the world of kinky BDSM by playing with control as much or as little as you feel comfortable with (and we’re not talking the problematic 50 shades of grey vibe).
Kinky sex with a little light restraint, spanking, or hair pulling can spice things up a bit, but make sure to discuss a safe word with your partner so either one of you can tap out if you’re uncomfortable. And try some new sex positions that switch up who is in control. Maybe your kink is being the boss—why not find out?
5. Explore New Locations
Yes, having sex in the bedroom is convenient, but it also can get dull. Explore new locations if you’re tired of looking at the same old scenery when getting intimate with your partner.
Try having great sex on the couch, in the kitchen, or in the shower. Drive out to a secluded area for a quickie or take a camping trip under the stars. The change of scenery can make everything feel new again—plus, new scenery can mean fun new positions. Up against the kitchen counter, anyone?
6. Play a Game: Who Can Last the Longest
Do you and your partner enjoy a little healthy competition? Try playing a game and seeing who can go the longest before orgasm. To really up the ante, incorporate edging into it. Explore your partner’s body, but don’t go over the edge. Enjoy the build-up.
The person who lasts the longest wins, but if you’re both getting off, don’t you both win? Make sure to use plenty of lube, so you don’t get sore!
7. Play With the Prostate
Consider a little prostate play if you or your partner has a prostate. AMAB people will tell you there is nothing like a prostate orgasm, so it’s worth giving it a shot. There are toys designed to help stimulate the prostate (also known as the P-spot), or you can lube up and try to find it yourself with some partnered anal sex.
8. Morning Oral – Or Bedtime Slurp?
Oral sex too often gets relegated to the “foreplay” sector or becomes something you “have to do” before the real fun begins. If you’ve been with your partner for a while, you may only pull this out on special occasions.
We’d like to urge you to surprise your partner by starting (or ending!) their day with oral sex for the sake of oral sex, with no other goal in mind but pleasing them. Just make sure they return the favor if you want it—equal partnership is what it’s all about.
9. Mutual Masturbation
Masturbation is often something we do quickly, just to have an orgasm and get on with our day. However, when you involve your partner, you turn it into one of the new things you try in bed—and it was right in front of you the whole time.
Put on a show for your partner before encouraging them to join in, or just lay next to them and watch each other. You might even learn a thing or two.
10. Find the Spot
Although there’s been some weird controversy about whether or not the G-spot exists, there’s no denying that looking for it can be a blast. The G-spot may be the key to unlocking female ejaculation, so lube up and go on a treasure hunt with your partner.
Start by feeling for a small area of “spongy” tissue a few inches into the vagina, near the front wall. If the partner with the vagina feels like they might pee, you’re actually on the right track. Just go with the feeling; it’s a good one.
11. Have a Sexy Scavenger Hunt
Do you have a partner who loves playing games? Why not design a sexy scavenger hunt for them or buy a premade option and go on one together? Or try sexting them the instructions—there’s nothing more steamy than a little technical sexual fantasy.
Not only will you bond, but you’ll also laugh and have fun while getting intimate in an exciting new way. The real prize will be in the bedroom at the end of the sexy scavenger hunt when you’re all turned on and ready to get to business.
12. Add a Toy or Two
Sex toys don’t have to be competition or something you use alone. Adding a toy or two (like a dildo or cock ring) to the bedroom can amp up the pleasure even further, bringing you both to heights you may not have experienced before.
Don’t forget to clean them thoroughly after use, and never use a toy in the vagina that’s recently been in the anus. And, as always, use plenty of lube to keep everything slippery and avoid uncomfortable friction. Pro tip: avoid silicone-based lube with silicone toys, as it can more quickly degrade the material.
Finding new things to try in bed can spice up your sex life, keeping even the most long-term relationship fresh and exciting. If things have been getting a little routine with your partner, talk to them about branching out. You never know what you’ll discover about yourself, and you’ll have fun exploring regardless!
Bare'ing it all for the Camera: Women's Experience of Having Erotic Photographs Taken | SpringerLink
(PDF) Sexual Arousal by Dominance and Submissiveness in the General Population: How Many, How Strongly, and Why? | Taylor & Francis
What is “edging” and why might it be employed? | ISSM
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