You know each other well and know what feels good, and an established routine is a great way to keep your sex life active and healthy. That said, some people also want a little something extra every now and then, and that’s okay!
With good communication, a little advice, and a bit of creativity, you can take your sex life to new, mind-blowing heights. Grab a notebook, and let’s get started.
Make Clear Intentions
Better sex starts with a clear intention to communicate and work together. Discussing what would be more exciting about your sex life – with or without the help of a sex therapist – can help you focus on what YOU need to do to change it.
Successful communication also builds a strong level of trust between you and your partner. Talk openly about your sexual desires, past experiences, what you want your intimacy to look like, and any potential roadblocks in the way.
It may seem awkward or even like you might hurt their feelings, but remember that they’re trying to please you how you want them to, and you need to be open about what you want for your partner to have a fair chance at that.
Check In With Your Partner
Solo exploration can help you discover what gets you going, but building a more fulfilling sexual relationship is a collaborative effort. Setting clear intentions is a great place to start, but you also need regular check-ins with your partner to see how they’re feeling.
It isn’t just about having the best sex possible; it’s also about strengthening your relationship.
As you open up, you or your partner may feel more comfortable sharing other things, like hidden fantasies or kinks (like role play or BDSM). Scheduling regular “let’s talk about sex, baby” conversations can give you the time and non-judgmental space to discuss these things without having to find the right time to bring them up on your own.
Have Playtime Out of the Bedroom
While it can be helpful to block your schedule to spend some intimate time with your partner, don’t forget how exciting spontaneity can be, too. Bring the steamy sex outside of the bedroom and into new places, even if it’s just the bathroom or living room couch.
Plan a rendezvous in the woods, at the beach, or somewhere new and unfamiliar. If you’re looking for an environment that encourages you to bare it all and get it on, a sex club is a fantastic place to explore your exhibitionist or voyeuristic side.
Try to keep your romance spontaneous, too. If the mood hits you when driving in the country or camping, go for it — just don’t come to us if a state trooper knocks on that steamy window.
Consider this your fair warning that while public sex is fun and exciting, it can land you a misdemeanor or worse under charges with public lewdness, indecent exposure, or disorderly conduct.
All of that disclosed, the takeaway is that while there’s nothing wrong with good ‘ole bedroom sex, you don’t want that to be your only place of pleasure!
Focus on Intimacy Over Sex
Honest question — how close are you and your partner? We’re not talking about how much you love them or how well you get along. How close do you feel to them?
If the intimacy in your relationship is low, you’re far more likely to have less-than-satisfying sex no matter how much you love your partner.
To help up your closeness factor, build intimacy with your partner outside of when you’re naked together. Go for long walks together holding hands, share things you haven’t shared before, or go on dates that don’t end in sex — the safer you feel being intimate with your partner, the better your sex can be.
Taking the time to cuddle after sex can also build intimacy. Cuddling releases endorphins like dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin, making you feel even closer to your partner. Thanks, science!
Don’t Skimp on Foreplay
Let’s face it — the amount of time we have in a day is incredibly limited. When we finally get into bed, any energy we have for sex usually goes straight into penetrative sex.
Having sex with your partner shouldn’t feel like a chore or something you rush through, and having better sex starts with foreplay. (Don’t forget to use our Awaken Arousal Oil to enhance your pleasure and sensation even further!)
If it’s been a while since your partner has fingered you or you’ve given your partner oral sex, make it a point to do that next time! Try reading erotica with each other, sending dirty texts throughout the day, or sending your partner a nude picture to build up the sexual tension.
Masturbate With Your Partner
Masturbation isn’t just for solo time. As good as your partner is in bed, you’ll always know your own body better than anybody else. It's like a show-and-tell when you have a mutual masturbation session with your partner.
Watching your partner masturbate can leave you feeling hot and heavy, even before you get your hands on each other. Show them exactly how you like your clitoris to be touched by letting them watch you do it, then let them try it for themselves. Voyeurism can be super hot if you’re up for it! (And never forget the lube.)
Use the Right Lube and Toys
Don’t be afraid to break out the toys with your partner. Show them how to use a vibrator on you, let them double penetrate you with a dildo, or even offer to peg them with a strap-on dildo.
Regardless of what toys you plan to use, use lubrication. Our CBD Sex Oil can help keep you going all night long without worrying about dryness or discomfort.
Make sure that you’re choosing the right lube for your needs. Water, silicone, and oil-based lube have specific advantages and disadvantages, so research which one works best before breaking them out.
Try New Positions
You don’t have to memorize the entire Kama Sutra to have better sex with your partner, but learning a few new positions won’t hurt!
Every body is different, so experimenting with positions can help you find the ones that hit your G-spot (or P-spot) just right.
Having great sex may be as simple as learning how to stimulate your erogenous zones. If you’re used to missionary positions, try being on top. Don’t be afraid to go for the sideways straddle, if you enjoy the receiving partner on top.
Remember to keep things light and enjoy the moment. When you’re less worried about doing things right, you’ll prevent things from getting too awkward if the positions don’t work out the way you thought.
Don’t Be Afraid To Initiate
Do you or your partner feel like one tends to do the most initiating when it comes to sex? While this is something that just becomes a habit instead of being purposeful, it may send a signal to the initiating partner that they aren’t sexually wanted.
If you’re the one who usually lays low and waits for your partner to mention sex, consider taking a leap and being the one who initiates.
When your partner feels like you want them just as much as they want you, their self-esteem may rise. This can open the door to more opportunities and encourage you to try something new.
If you struggle with body image or mental health that may be stopping you from initiating sex, talk about it with your partner. Remember, you’re not alone. Don’t be afraid to seek help when you need it the most.
Understand That Sex Can Change
If you and your partner have been together for a while, it’s easy to fall into a rut. As much as we love our partners, we may take them for granted, even when we don’t realize it.
Sex becomes less about passion and more about function, and we stop trying new things or mixing them up… why mess with a good thing, right?
As we age, so do our sexual preferences and bodies. What used to feel good or work for us may no longer do the trick. It all comes back to communication, as do most things in life!
Having open conversations about what is and isn’t working can help you adapt to new changes. You may want to try new sex positions, play with different sex toys or intimacy-enhancing products, or talk to your doctor about medications to help with sexual dysfunction (like erectile dysfunction or vaginal dryness) or a poor sex drive.
Whatever the challenges may be – do it openly and lovingly with your partner.
Increased sexual satisfaction in your relationship can bring you closer together in every way imaginable. But better sex takes practice and learning how to communicate won’t magically happen overnight!
Be patient, be kind, and be open — you and your partner both deserve pleasure and intimacy, and sometimes it just takes a few naughty texts or even a heartfelt conversation over dinner to get that much closer to better sex!
The specific importance of communicating about sex to couples' sexual and overall relationship satisfaction | PubMed
Pelvic Muscle Strength of Female Ejaculators: Evidence in Support of a New Theory of Orgasm | JSTOR
Kamasutra in Practice: The Use of Sexual Positions in the Czech Population and Their Association With Female Coital Orgasm Potential | PMC
Want more? Sign up for our newsletter