Change is hard. Change in relationships, especially long-standing intimate partnerships, can be especially hard. You think you’ve got it all figured out, and then boom, Life happens – and you have to rethink how to be yourselves, separately and together, in the shared ecology you’ve carefully tended for so long.
Menopause has been called “the change”, and for good reason. The end of menstruation affects the body and mind in countless ways. However, there are a lot of harmful stories you’ll hear about menopause – like how your libido and sex life will dry up and blow away in the wind, never to be seen again.
If you’re menopausal or perimenopausal, you may be anxious about how you’ll feel about sex, both for yourself AND for your partner. And your partner may be suffering from a lack of quality education about what menopause really is and what it can mean for intimacy.
Fear not! Knowledge is power, and menopause can be a powerful stage of life – a reason to reassess what you really want and need, and who you really are. And there’s nothing better for great sex than self-knowledge.
What to expect from sex and menopause.
Keep in mind that everybody is different. For some, menopause represents a deeply challenging upheaval. Others may be surprised by how challenging it isn’t. Consult with your healthcare practitioners for options that may help ease the passage in body and mind, read about others’ experiences, and speak to your personal post-menopausal heroes – you don’t have to go it alone.
Changes in libido and desire.
Libido obviously has many, many more implications to a human animal than just procreation, but at base, it did evolve to ensure the production of more little humans. Our estrogen levels drop, our reproductive capacity begins to fade, and the possibility of making babies leaves the body’s consideration.
Also, don’t discount the role of testosterone – everyone has some, it plays a key role in desire, and during menopause, testosterone levels also decline. Under these circumstances, of course our libidos will change!
Change – not disappear. Your old mental and physical turn-ons may not do the trick anymore, but that just means that brand-new ones may be emerging. Was your desire always spontaneous, ready to go at the drop of a hat? Perhaps you’ve moved into a responsive mode, and you need more time, patience, and gentle physical stimulation to get your head in the game. Again, your libido isn’t gone – just changing.
If you find you need more of a pleasure pregame these days, consider having those so-important intimate conversations while sharing a warm bath. Our Intimacy Bath Salts with CBD & Cacao are like a romantic bouquet for the senses – both yours and your partner’s.
Moisture, lubrication and comfort.
The decline in testosterone and estrogen have physical effects as well as emotional ones, of course. Vaginal tissues may thin, becoming less elastic and more easily irritated, and vaginal dryness can be an extremely common sign that menopause is underway (though not always!)
Lack of natural lubrication and less pliable tissues can add up to painful sex. Penetration or even simple touch may be uncomfortable now, and anticipating painful sex can also cause your libido to hop on the next plane to anywhere else.
To enjoy comfortable sexual intimacy during menopause and beyond, you need patience, candid communication with your partner, and lots and lots and lots of lube. Our Sex Oil with CBD is an all-natural glide that can be used all over – what better way to start a red-hot sex session than a long, sensuous massage?
Emotional and psychological changes.
We all know that hormones affect our mood, but often we don’t realize how much until our estrogen and testosterone levels start to decline! Again, everybody will have a different experience, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.
If your moods become a challenge, your partner may wonder what happened to the “you” they know. In and of itself, this can be a major barrier to intimacy, emotional and sexual. You’re still you, of course, just in the process of a major life transition – and those are hard!
Ensure that both of you have adequate mental and emotional health support, together and separately. This time may even be an opportunity to communicate more effectively than you ever have, which can lead to fireworks in the bedroom.
As your body changes, your relationship with your body and identity may also change – which impacts how you feel, about yourself and your partner. Make sure you have the care, empathy, time, and loving support you need – and lots and LOTS of lube – and then get excited to meet the different, but still sexy, juicy and vital you who awaits on the other side of this profound transition.
Want more? Sign up for our newsletter