What Is the Best Massage Oil for Couples?

Massage oil is one of the sexiest, multi-purpose tools every couple should add to their sexual toolbox. Haven’t tried it yet? We’re here to show you what you’re missing out on. 

Don’t worry if you’re a novice — we’ve got answers to all the questions you didn’t even know to ask. What is the best massage oil for couples? How can you give your partner the hottest massage of their life? 

Warm up your hands, clear your schedule, and let’s get right into it.

What Is Massage Oil, and Do You Need It?

Taking away all of the obvious sexual context, massage oil is a slippery liquid used to help reduce the friction between the hands and skin during a massage. Did you have older siblings growing up? Did they like to grab your forearm and twist? 

If you want to avoid that feeling, use massage oil. Massage should feel good and not hurt (unless you’re paying someone for a deep tissue massage where a good ache is expected, that is).

So the answer to do you need it to give or receive a massage is yes, absolutely! Plus, there are other benefits to using massage oil in the bedroom. The same benefits massage oil brings to the massage table can also be extended into your intimacy. 

After all, what is sex, if not the closest skin-to-skin contact you can get with another person (or yourself)? Wouldn’t you want that to feel as slippery and slidey as possible? Sign us up.

What Are the Best Massage Oils for Couples?

We’ve come a long way since massage oils were first used, and many options exist today. We like to break massage oil down into three categories — “traditional,” “personal,” and “arousal” — to make it easier for you to choose. 

Each type is excellent, but what is the best massage oil for couples, and how can you use them to build a stronger bond with your partner?

1. The “Traditional.”

Let’s start with traditional massage oil. Traditional massage oils are meant for external use only and are usually carrier oil, often with a mix of essential oils. If you’re looking for an option to use strictly for massage, this is the one for you. 

They’re slippery, smell good, and reduce friction — everything you could want when giving your partner a massage (or having them give you one). All you need to do is apply, massage, and reapply as needed. 

Our Intimacy Breast Oil also has an additional benefit — it can also increase your connection with your own body and, specifically, your breast tissue. So many of us don’t take the time to explore our bodies thoroughly, even though doing that can be a literal lifesaver. 

Spend time massaging your own body — you’ll learn more about yourself while keeping yourself safe.

2. The “Personal.”

If you’d like to take your massage oil to a more “personal” level, look for an option you can also use internally. Personal massage oils have the same benefits as traditional massage oil while also being used for all kinds of sexual activity. 

Think: your massage is finished, and you’re both hot and bothered. Why not use the same massage oil to lube up and mess around?

Personal massage oil can safely be used externally (hand jobs) or for penetration. It keeps intimacy going longer without worrying about discomfort or natural lubrication running out. Personal massage oil or lubrication is also a non-negotiable for anal play because the anus can’t self-lubricate the way the vagina can!

Be aware that certain personal massage oils don’t always play well in every situation. If you’re using latex condoms for birth control or STI prevention, you’ll want to avoid using oil-based lubricants and massage oils for penetrative sex. 

3. The “Arousal.”

One more way to introduce massage oil into your sex life is arousal oil. Arousal oil takes the friction-reducing abilities of other massage oils and adds ingredients to increase your pleasure even further. It’s a great way to take your sexual activity up a notch, increasing your sensation and making any touch feel out of this world. 

It can be used as a massage oil, then applied to the clitoris, inner labia, vulva, and vagina to take your intimacy to the next level. We recommend starting with a small amount to see how your body will react; then, the sky’s the limit! 

How Can You Give a Relaxing Massage?

Let’s face it, who doesn’t have a ton of stress, especially with what’s been going on for the past few years? Massage is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Scientifically, even a short ten-minute massage can help reduce your stress level.

Set the Mood

A quick shoulder rub in the kitchen can feel great, but it doesn’t exactly set the mood for a lengthy sexual encounter unless you have the house to yourself. When you give your partner a massage (or when they give you one), it’s crucial to set an appropriate mood. Luckily, it’s also not that hard!

While we think the bedroom is always best, start by picking a location that lets them stretch out and gives you some privacy (especially if you plan to take it to a sexier place). You’ll also want to ensure the surface isn’t one that you care about getting too oily or that you can easily wash. Pull out those sheets you don’t care about.

Next, check out your lighting situation. Even the most secure of us don’t feel great being naked in fluorescent lighting, and you want your partner to be comfortable and relaxed! Turn down the lights, light a few candles, and draw the blinds — you want it to be dark enough to feel calm without being too dark to see what you’re doing! 

And finally, noise. Massage is about going into your happy place, and that’s hard to do if there’s construction outside or you can hear your neighbors arguing on the other side of the wall. While you can’t totally eliminate outside noise, you can put on music that can block it out and set the mood even further.

If you’re genuinely using massage as foreplay with a consensual partner, pay attention to how you’re presenting yourself, too. You can throw on some sexy lingerie or even do it naked! 

It gives your partner a better idea of what you have planned, but they still get the massage first. Everyone wins!

Know Your Techniques

Even people who have never given a massage in their lives have the potential to give a great one — it’s all about knowing your techniques! 

Our top tip for giving your partner a massage is to ask them for their preferences. No matter how long you’ve known your partner, there is still plenty to learn. Some people have areas of their body they absolutely don’t want to be massaged, even by their partner, so allow them to set their boundaries before proceeding. 

Once you’ve discussed what's on and off the table, have them lie down and get comfortable. For most people, this will be on their stomach, but you may need to provide them with extra pillows to help support their head or any other uncomfortable body parts. 

While they’re getting comfortable, pour some massage oil into your hands and allow it to warm up. Cold massage oil isn’t sexy and can immediately shock your partner right out of being in the mood.

The shoulders are the best place to start when giving a massage, especially if you’re new to it. Most of us hold stress in our shoulder muscles, so we can always benefit from a little tension relief! 

Make sure to use plenty of massage oil and run your thumbs along their shoulder blades, feeling for knots or obvious areas of tension. Use moderate pressure at first and increase it if and when your partner is ready. 

After that, gently work your way down their spine. Try to use your whole hand whenever possible to keep the pressure even. Experiment with different strokes — move your hands in circles, knead their skin and muscles, or lightly glide over their skin. 

Keep the line of communication open with your partner, so they can tell you if anything feels “too much” or “not enough.” Giving a great massage is all about touching your partner in the way that feels best to them, after all!

The Bottom Line

So, what is the best massage oil for couples? It depends on what your intentions for your encounter are! Traditional massage oil is great for just giving a massage, while personal and arousal massage oils allow you to take your massage to an even sexier place once it’s over. 

Explore each of our options to find out what works best for you, and happy massaging! Just make sure that your partner returns the favor!


Essential Oils | NIH

Vaginal Lubrication - an overview | ScienceDirect Topics

Ten minutes of massage or rest will help your body fight stress | ScienceDaily

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