Talk Pleasure to Me is our series where we talk to experts on sex, relationships, and caring for your body (& mind) so you can get inspired on your pleasure journey and learn from the best.
Josefina Bashout is an internationally recognized feminine empowerment expert, Tantric love, sex, and relationship teacher, speaker, and Certified Advanced Spiritual Psychologist. Devoted to bringing modern Tantra into the mainstream, her TEDx talk Pleasure Edge: How Good Can You Stand It reframes pleasure as a form of intelligence rather than indulgence.
Blending ancient Tantric wisdom with modern psychology and neuroscience, Josefina guides women into deeper intimacy, embodied confidence, and orgasmic living. As the creator and host of the top-ranked podcast Unabashed, she leads a global movement helping people reclaim pleasure as their birthright and embodied power as their natural state.
Tantric sex is often misunderstood as something mystical, complicated, or reserved for advanced practitioners—but at its core, Tantra is a deeply practical, body-based approach to intimacy, pleasure, and connection. Rooted in ancient wisdom, Tantric practices invite us to slow down, soften the nervous system, and experience sex not as performance, but as presence.
In this intimate Q&A, we sit down with a renowned tantric sex expert specializing in feminine embodiment, somatic healing, and conscious intimacy. Josefina Bashout shares her personal journey into Tantra, what it truly means to be a tantric sex expert, and how Tantric practices—including tantric oral rituals like the tantric blowjob—can radically transform desire, connection, and pleasure for individuals and couples alike.
First, can you tell us a bit about yourself and how you got into doing what you do now?
For over two decades, I have studied tantric embodiment, feminine leadership, intimacy, and somatic healing both personally and professionally. This work was never a career choice for me. It has been my path of healing, initiation, and self reclamation. It is what I live and breathe.
I came from a celebrity driven world of design, living almost entirely from the neck up. I knew how to succeed, how to be visible, and how to perform at a high level. On the outside, everything looked good. On the inside, I was numb, disconnected from my body, and quietly unwell. I was even faking most of my orgasms, despite being told by lovers that I was incredible in bed. A health scare became the wake up call that changed everything. It forced me to stop, listen, and radically reorient my life.
That moment led me into natural healing modalities, meditation, and yoga. And through what I can only describe as grace, I stumbled into tantra. Something in me immediately recognized it. What began as curiosity quickly became devotion. I eventually traveled to the jungles of Asia to study Tantra more deeply. What I discovered was both mystical and profoundly practical. An ancient technology of healing that reconnected me to my body, my vitality, and my essence as a woman. I learned that pleasure is not something earned through achievement or approval. It is a birthright. And that pleasure is foundational to nervous system regulation, creativity, intimacy, and sustainable power.
As my body softened and my nervous system regulated, my health restored. My relationships transformed. My confidence became embodied rather than forced. My leadership expanded with ease instead of pressure.
Over time, I began weaving tantric wisdom with spiritual psychology and somatic healing. This work developed out of a need I had for myself. What began as personal healing became my calling.
Today, I guide high achieving women who have mastered their careers yet feel numb, empty, or exhausted in their most intimate relationships. Women who have done the therapy, read the books, and tried to manifest love, yet still find themselves asking why their body feels shut down or why they keep attracting emotionally immature partners and are committed to transforming their love & sex life for good!
What does it mean to be a tantric sex expert?
Being a tantric sex expert means honoring sexuality as a sacred language of the body rather than something to fix or perform. My work as a tantric sex expert specializing in feminine empowerment is about helping women feel safe enough to soften, open, and be fully seen so their radiant power becomes something they live and feel in their bodies every day, as they discover how good life and love are meant to feel.
When I work with couples, Tantra invites us beneath the surface of sex and into the emotional, energetic, and somatic currents that move between two bodies. Tantra is not just about sex, It is about presence, breath, intention, and the willingness to stay connected to sensation without rushing or shutting down. It is about unlearning the conditioning we carry from society, religion, and family and returning to a more natural, embodied way of relating. A tantric sex expert gently slows the nervous system and teaches individuals/couples how to listen with their hands, their breath, and their attention. Through conscious touch and energetic awareness, pleasure expands beyond the genitals, becoming more spacious as intimacy deepens organically. At its essence, Tantra is the art of everyday ecstasy, offering a living technology that brings the sacred back into the erotic and reminds us that our bodies are designed to feel, to open, and to love deeply as divine expressions in a human body.
What does tantric sex mean to you and how can people benefit from incorporating tantra into their sex lives?
To me, tantric sex is about slowing down enough to actually feel what is happening in the body and between two people. It is sex guided by presence, breath, devotion, and energy rather than performance or rushing toward an outcome. When tantra is brought into intimacy, sex stops being something you do and becomes something you experience together. Couples begin to truly meet each other emotionally, energetically, and somatically, often experiencing deeper connection, increased desire, longer-lasting pleasure, improved communication, and a sense of spiritual closeness that traditional sex does not always access. Sex becomes a nourishing, energizing ritual rather than just a physical act.
The word “tantra” means to expand and to liberate. Tantric sex is designed to expand sexual or primordial life force energy and liberate us from shame, conditioning, and the pressure to perform. Rather than climbing toward a goal or chasing an isolated genital climax, tantra teaches us how to ride waves of pleasure through intentional breath, sensory awareness, sound, and conscious touch. Through these ancient tantric sciences, we enter a transcendent space that knows no time, no form, and no bounds, where we feel free of inhibition and the small self. It is about elongating pleasure and allowing desire to become devotional. As awareness deepens, the body naturally enters states of bliss and ecstasy, which is why tantra is often known as the path of ecstasy.
It teaches partners how to savor rather than rush, how to feel rather than perform, and how to expand pleasure instead of releasing it as quickly as possible.
Through tantric practice, we can become highly orgasmic human beings rather than people having isolated orgasms. Orgasmic energy is no longer limited to the genitals or even the bedroom. It becomes an energetic, emotional, and spiritual current that moves through the entire body and through life itself. In this way, tantra brings us back home to our essential light, the God or Goddess within us. In the bedroom, this inner divinity awakens, and through practice, we learn how to return to this expanded, liberated, pleasure-filled state again and again. We could all benefit from these practices.
Can you tell us more about what a tantric blowjob is and how it’s different from a traditional blowjob?
A tantric blowjob is a conscious, connected, energetically attuned oral ritual that blends pleasure with presence and heart.
Unlike a traditional blowjob that focuses primarily on technique or performance, a tantric blowjob is about the giver dropping fully into their body, breath, intention, and desire. It becomes a shared energetic loop between partners. The pace starts a lot slower and more intentional to build up. There is eye contact, breath syncing, full body touch, sound, and an emotional element of devotion that amplifies the experience for both people.
What many people love about good oral is that it feels like you’re worshipping your partner’s body. If you want to lean into that element which is different from a regular blowjob, go full-on tantric! Imagine you are taking in your partner’s essence and power through your mouth. For the best blow job, suck and worship your partner's cock—but also imagine and see their cock as really worshiping your mouth. It’s a playful flip on the approach to a blowjob!
How would you recommend someone approach their partner about wanting to try this together?
Lead with curiosity, not pressure. You might say something like, “Hey, would you be interested in exploring our intimacy in a way that feels nourishing and connective for both of us? I learned about a tantric technique we can play with and I want to give you a Tantric BJ. Can we explore it later if you are open to it?” When the intention is connection and play, partners respond with much more enthusiasm and openness.
Can you tell us step-by-step how to give a tantric blowjob?
My pleasure! Firstly, it’s important to understand that what makes oral sex tantric is not technique, but intention and consciousness. For many women, pleasure alone is not always enough to motivate the ritual. That is not a problem. It simply means there is often a deeper layer available.
Tantra invites you to explore why you are offering pleasure. Maybe it genuinely turns you on to witness your partner’s enjoyment. Maybe it feels nourishing to surrender, slow time down, and be fully present in service. Or maybe it becomes a meditative act where you lose yourself in devotion and connection rather than performance.
There is no right or wrong reason to offer oral pleasure. What matters is that it is rooted in choice, presence, and a connection to your own desire because you’ll enjoy it a lot more too. When you understand what truly motivates you, the practice becomes more fulfilling, embodied, and alive. From this place, the steps are no longer mechanical. They become an intentional ritual of connection and shared pleasure. Now, let's get into the juice!
STEP 1: Turn Yourself On First
Before you even begin, jumpstart your sexual energy first. Move your hips. Lick your lips. Breathe deeply into your pelvis. Dance to music.
This is important for any sexual experience because it will build up your confidence, which will help your partner relax and receive. Give them the sense that you are in charge, you trust yourself, and you know what to do by activating your goddess power first.
Before you touch him, awaken your own energy.
Swallow the idea of pleasure before you even begin to take them on.
Your arousal fuels the tantric ritual.
STEP 2: Warm Him Slowly
Showing up with an open and excited heart to get on your knees with a smile on your face and passion in your body is an active choice of giving.
Then start to kiss his thighs, hips, belly.
Use your breath to tease and awaken his inner thighs.
Build anticipation. This is where Tantra begins. Whisper words of admiration and appreciation for his body, his looks, and his masculine gifts.
STEP 3: Bring in your Sex Goddess Power
Use your hands, your breath, your presence. Never start with cold hands, so rub them together first with some Foria Sex Oil. Start with confident, grounded strokes not timid touch, stroking upwards motion. Cup or massage his balls so he feels held by you as your other hand strokes his wand of light.
Let him feel the certainty in your body and breathe that you are 100% there with him, for him, in devotion to his power.
Many women think they need to slow down if their partner’s response isn’t immediate, but the truth is, intensity is good to help bring him in presense with firm, confident strokes and strong pressure.
Take him by surprise—divert his mind with playfulness, humor, and a deep sense of trust in your own touch.
STEP FOUR: Align Your Energy
Truly enjoy going down on him, tune into your highest desires first as your stroking his cock. You can close your eyes for a moment as you feel him and attune to yourself. If you need a mental prompt to focus Ask yourself: Why do I want to be here, now, in this moment? Go deeper than “just because”—find your truest reason for wanting to feel him in this way. This shifts your energy, aligning it with pleasure and purpose.
Bring intention. Bring desire. Bring heart
Let him feel that you’re in charge as his goddess of sex and love, and watch him surrender as you take the lead intimately and he lets go of the reigns and his power comes alive.
STEP FIVE: Breath and Sound
Sound is one of the most overlooked tantric tools. Gentle humming, soft moans, or slow exhalations create vibration that travels through the body and deepens sensation for both partners. Let the sound come from your chest and throat, not as performance, but as an expression of pleasure and presence.
Breathe in rhythm with your movement.
Let soft “ahhhh” “ooooooohh” “hummmmm” sounds vibrate through him.
This activates the energetic and somatic layers. This turns the experience from a physical act into an energetic exchange, allowing pleasure to build slowly and expansively rather than rushing toward an endpoint.
STEP SIX: Channel Love Through Your Mouth
As you take him into your mouth, imagine love pouring through your lips and breath into him. Let your mouth be both sensual and devotional.
Let your love rise within you, feeling it pour through your mouth and lips. Connect with your primal, sensual energy that exists to make love. Bring him along for the ride, inviting him to experience the sacred union of love and lust.
STEP SEVEN: Desire His Pleasure as Much as your Own
Make him feel worshipped, alive, and adored, and you’ll feel like a goddess too. Bring your full self to this experience—be present, be wild, be real. Let him feel your enthusiasm and devotion, and he will mirror that back, making the entire moment even more fulfilling.
Use your hands, chest, breath, thighs. This is not a mouth only ritual, it’s a whole woman offering.
STEP EIGHT: Sacred Worship
Transform the sexual act into a sacred worship! What makes a blowjob into true cock worship? An open heart and passion!
Relax your face, soften your heart, allow pleasure and love to blend. You are not performing. You are worshipping, inviting, opening.
You can check in with yourself here and bring awareness by asking “What do I need to feel open and connected in this moment?” Maybe it’s laughter, more eye contact, or placing a hand over each other’s hearts to deepen the experience. You can non-verbally check in with your partner here through eye contact and witness him with that awareness on how his body is responding and attune to his unique God consciousness as he's being worshipped.
STEP NINE: Tantric Deep Throat
Think of this as opening up like a Tantric Queen. If desired, slide him deeper with breath and relaxation, not force. Take him fully and feel his essence as it blends with yours. The back of your throat is linked to your pussy, so you’re awakening pleasure within yourself, too. Play with humming, sounding, and moans, letting each vocal vibration send ripples of pleasure through both of you. Let the sensations awaken your own arousal.
STEP TEN: Go Wild, Go Free
Give yourself permission to go wild!
Release yourself into the moment; let it be a place of surrender and abandon. Take off the “bumpers” in this safe space, calling forth your inner sex goddess, sacred slut, or erotic diva. Let her come out to play with full, unapologetic passion in her embodied power!
Tantra thrives when you drop inhibition and unleash your inner sex goddess to express in her fullest power.
What are some of the benefits of a tantric blowjob and who are some people who could benefit from trying this?
A tantric blowjob offers far more than physical pleasure. When practiced with presence, breath, and intention, it can create a deep sense of emotional connection, heightened arousal for both partners, and a feeling of genuine trust and intimacy. Because tantra invites pleasure to move beyond the genitals, many people experience a full-body erotic opening, a stronger energetic bond, and a natural awakening of masculine–feminine polarity. For some, it carries a devotional quality, a feeling of being chosen, adored, or even worshipped, which can be profoundly nourishing for both partners.
Couples who want to rekindle desire, deepen intimacy, or explore sacred sexuality often find tantric oral practices especially transformative. Shifting out of performance and into presence allows pleasure to become slower, richer, and more expansive, helping both partners feel more confident, embodied, and emotionally connected. It can be particularly powerful for couples who feel rushed, disconnected, or stuck in routine, as it restores intimacy as a shared experience rather than a task to complete.
This work is also deeply valuable for people who are not currently in a relationship. Tantric practices can be explored as a way to understand and embody polarity and power dynamics within oneself. People can explore themes of surrender, devotion, dominance, receptivity, and choice in a way that feels safe, intentional, and empowering. This helps people clarify their desires, boundaries, and turn-ons so they enter future relationships with greater confidence, self-trust, and embodied presence rather than confusion or self-abandonment.
Simple elements like eye contact can dramatically deepen the experience. A shared gaze during oral intimacy helps both partners stay present and connected through nonverbal communication. It allows you to feel into your partner’s responses, read their facial cues and body language, and adjust with sensitivity and care. For partners who are less vocal, this attunement builds trust and safety, creating an experience that feels responsive, alive, and deeply intimate rather than mechanical.
At its core, tantric oral practices invite intimacy to become slower, more conscious, and more meaningful. Whether practiced with a partner or explored individually, they allow pleasure to become a bridge to connection, polarity, devotion, and a deeper relationship with one’s own power and desire.
Can you move from a tantric blowjob to tantric intercourse? Or is it important to keep the tantric blowjob as a separate activity?
You can absolutely transition into tantric intercourse. A tantric blowjob is a beautiful way to open the body, awaken energy, and create emotional connection before intercourse.
However, it’s also an amazing standalone ritual if you want an experience that is simply about giving & receiving devotion without moving into penetrative sex. There is no right or wrong. Tantra is about intention rather than rules. Just don't expect that it must lead to sex, so it can be helpful to communicate the intention of giving and accessing your sex goddess in devotion to his sex god, so the pressure is totally off….and then if the energy swirls up into a wave of ecstatic bliss that it progresses into more, enjoy it.
Is a tantric orgasm different from a regular orgasm?
Yes. A tantric orgasm is more full-body, emotional, and expansive. Instead of being localized to the genitals, the pleasure spreads throughout the entire nervous system. People often describe it as waves of bliss rather than a single peak. Tantric orgasms can last longer, feel more connected, and create a sense of spiritual closeness between partners.
A tantric orgasm is felt as an energetic, emotional, and spiritual opening, not just a physical release. And the beautiful part is — penetration isn’t required. Tantra teaches that orgasmic states can arise through presence, breath, energy flow, and connection alone.
More from Josefina
Curious about other tantric techniques and practices? Josefina shares more tantric ways to connect with your partner, such as yoni and lingam massage, in our app. Download the Foria App to read the extended version of this interview!
Wanna be interviewed for this series?
The Foria Practitioner Program is accepting applications from professionals with expertise in women’s health who wish to recommend Foria products to their clients and professional network To be part of the practitioner program, please apply to our affiliate program. Learn more and apply.
Shop Josefina’s Favs
Best seller
Want more? Sign up for our newsletter
By entering your email, you are agreeing to our terms and conditions and understand our privacy policy.