It’s the New Year! And in Internet land, it’s time for endless listicles about New Year’s resolutions. Work out more, eat differently, be more productive, and finally lose those bad habits — you know the drill.
Most New Year’s resolutions aren’t much fun. Most of the listicles aren’t much fun, either. We’re glad to report that this one will be different.
It’s about affirming, not condemning. It’s about resolving to have more fun, and pleasure, and orgasms, and intimacy, and the physical and mental well-being that arises from having all the great sex you want.
So this year, consider decluttering some bedroom habits you may not even be aware of – that could get in the way of the pleasure, joy, and fulfillment (and lots and lots of orgasms) you deserve. Here’s your list of sexy New Year’s resolutions you’ll be happy to stick to.
New Year, New You (In Bed)
These affirmations are a starting point! Try keeping a journal of the thoughts, feelings, and ideas that arise when you consider your intimate patterns and how you express yourself sexually. You know yourself better than anyone when it comes to pleasure – and you’re in charge.
Affirmation one – I will communicate my needs and ask for what I want, even when I’m worried about being rejected, even when I’m nervous, even when I’m not sure how to express myself. And if I need a little time, space, and patience to identify what I want and need? I’ll ask for that too!
Affirmation two – I will learn what I need to get to an enthusiastic “yes.” During a sexual experience, I’ll check in with my body, my heart, and my mind. I’ll make sure I’m saying “yes” to physical intimacy that honors all parts of me. If I’m not at that “yes” yet, I’ll share what I’d need to get there — or ask for something that would feel even better for me.
Affirmation three – I will commit to understanding my own pleasure via intimacy with myself. I’ll actively build a relationship with my own pleasure through masturbation and loving self-touch. If my masturbation routine has become routine, I’ll change it up — maybe with a new tool or toy, or with my own hands if tools and toys have become commonplace in my solo date nights.
Affirmation four – I will not endure! I will no longer allow sex to continue if it’s painful, uncomfortable, boring, or if I’m just not enjoying myself. I’ll stop prioritizing my partner’s enjoyment at my own expense because the habit of enduring can dampen my libido and put my own pleasure out of reach.
Affirmation five – I will explore the potential of fantasy. Many people have one or more core themes that we always find erotic but draw a blank when asked to name a specific fantasy. This may be because we take our turn-ons for granted, and it’s time to check in with them. I will ask my turn-ons to tell me a story and let them take me on an adventure — for my pleasure, for my partner’s if I have one, and for the potential of transformative self-knowledge.
How Can You Stay Motivated?
When it comes to your body, sexual pleasure is all about what feels right for you. If you simply aren’t that interested in sex — penetrative sex or other forms of sex — then don’t let any listicle, partner, or even us make you feel as though you should want more of it.
Here at Foria, we want you to access pleasure in fulfillment however that looks for you — whether you reach that pleasure through sex or not.
But, if you are feeling the desire to have more sex, better sex, or a better understanding of your own turn-ons and how to fulfill them yourself and yet have been letting life get in the way of achieving this sexual gratification, you may be seeking out ways to stay motivated in reaching more pleasurable arousal and intimacy.
It may help to set aside time to delve into what may be blocking you from achieving the type of pleasure and love life you’re aiming for. Are you experiencing pain or discomfort with sex? Are you feeling frustrated with any aspect of your sex life or relationships?
Are there sexual acts or fantasies you’re interested in exploring but haven’t shared with a significant other or fully opened up to within yourself? And, if so, what can help you feel more comfortable exploring them alone or in your intimate relationships?
Journaling can help you investigate these questions further, as can speaking to a trusted friend or therapist. Once you know what is standing between you and the sexual exploration you’re craving, you’ll better understand what you can do to move past any barriers.
This may look like scheduling sex and masturbation to help it become a more natural part of your routine. It may look like communicating your needs and desires to your partners. It may look like treating yourself to a new toy that can help bring excitement back into the bedroom, or it may look like incorporating tools to cut off vaginal discomfort at the source, such as through the use of soothing suppository Intimacy Melts.
What Are Some Intimate Products To Try in the New Year?
Sexual intimacy and orgasms can provide a wealth of sexual health and wellness benefits, from releasing happy hormones like oxytocin and dopamine to improving sleep quality. All this to say: we love an orgasm. But, we also know achieving one doesn’t always come as easy.
If you’re hoping to find your way to the orgasms of your dreams, trying out some different intimacy products this new year can help you get there. We hope you already have your lube on deck, but here are a few new items to consider.
Arousal Oil
From foreplay to solo play, massaging our Awaken Arousal Oil onto the clitoris or labia can help increase blood flow and heighten sensitivity for enhanced arousal and increased sexual pleasure. Your best orgasms are yet to come.
Intimacy Breast Oil
Breast massages don’t just feel good; they can also help increase blood flow and support breast health as you build a deeper awareness of your breasts. Our nourishingOrganic Intimacy Breast Oil can help you build a loving routine of self-intimacy and self-touch that can help you access your pleasure and fulfillment.
A New Sex Toy for a New Year
If the joys of your old vibrator have fizzled out or you realize you want to dig deeper into your fantasies, a new toy (or two) may be in order.
From an outfit you can whip out to role play in, restraints or collars to help you experiment with a bondage fantasy, or a new vibrator that offers a different type of stimulation that you are intrigued by or yet to explore, let this be the time to delve into your deepest desires and fantasies. Seek out the tools that will allow you to experience sexual fulfillment in new and exciting ways that feel true and right for you.
The Bottom Line
Any time is a good time for erotic affirmation.
New Year’s Day is fundamentally an arbitrary date, chosen by some ancient dudes a long time ago (we can’t even be bothered to look it up). Just because it’s a traditional time for personal change in Western culture doesn’t mean it’s the right time for you.
If you are interested in seeking out more satisfying sexual pleasure for yourself — regardless of the day of the year — setting aside time for these affirmations, journaling, trying out a new tool or toy, or incorporating self-touch into an existing daily routine can help you achieve the type of sexual pleasure you’re striving for.
And, if you need to drop a pin in it and come back to these tips on Valentine’s Day, or Beltane, or your birthday, or Arbor Day — do! It’s all about you, growing in pleasure on your own terms, no matter what the calendars (and the listicles!) say.
Remember–it’s your desires, your pleasure, and your timeline. Now, go enjoy the rest of your day and have the best sex of your life!
Sources:
Journaling’s Impact on Mental Health | UWL Journal of Undergraduate Research
Orgasm: What is an Orgasm, Types of Orgasms & Health Benefits | Cleveland Clinic
The Relationship Between Sex and Sleep | Sleep Foundation
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