Relationships are complicated, and long-distance relationships can be even more difficult. Maintaining intimacy when you’re not in the same physical vicinity as your partner takes work.
The good news is that many people find ways to carry on successful LDRs all across the globe! Sexting and sending nudes is usually a big part of long-distance intimacy, but it can definitely feel awkward if you aren’t used to it.
Here’s a primary on keeping your sex life alive, even long-distance, by learning how to sext with your partner. Being in the same city doesn’t always mean the best sex life!
Why Intimacy Is Important in a Long Distance Relationship
Without intimacy, long-distance relationships suffer and can eventually fail. There’s no question that physical intimacy is crucial in helping you feel close to your partner, and even things like hand-holding and hugging can make a big difference.
When you’re incapable of doing that for long periods, there are other ways to build intimacy. Learning how to sext is excellent for maintaining intimacy during the times when physical intimacy is impossible.
Ask for Consent
The internet is forever, and the consequences for naughty pics and sexts escaping into the wild can be pretty dire. It is always okay to say no when someone asks for nudes or a sexting sesh – and if your partner says no, respect it!
The need for consent doesn’t change just because you’re in a long-term relationship. You should always establish digital consent before sexting your partner, especially if you send sexy images. Never forget, consent is sexy!
Put Your Best Selfie Forward
There are numerous different ways to level up your steamy selfie game! If part of sexting your partner is sending pictures of yourself, don’t just send off the first pic you snap.
Take a few minutes to put on something hot, find the best lighting, and try different angles. Arching your back is classic, and it’s always hotter to send pics that leave a little something to the imagination.
Don’t Hold Back on the Tease
Just because you’re not in person doesn’t mean you have to just jump right into the sex talk. Don’t hold back on the tease, even if you’ve been with your partner for a long time.
Send flirty texts or a teasing pic before getting dirtier. Text them that you’ve been thinking about them all day, and you’ll really get their juices flowing.
Learning how to sext isn’t about just being graphic. Get creative with how you talk about what you want to do, and try using other words for different body parts. Think outside of the box (and outside your comfort zone) with your dirty talk, and surprise your partner with just how naughty you can be.
Make Foreplay Matter
Foreplay is still important, even when you’re not in the same room. Take your time and build the tension. You may even want to try some edge play, where you get close to orgasm and back off until you’re ready to blow your top.
As a bonus, let your partner decide when you can finally let go (or vice versa — take turns being in charge!).
Build Your Thirst Trap Arsenal
After you’ve gotten a handle on how to take your best selfie, take some time to build a thirst trap arsenal that you have ready to go at a moment’s notice. Doing this serves two purposes — you don’t have to take your time and stress trying to find that perfect shot, and you won’t have to stop what you’re doing and take a break from your pleasure to send visuals to your partner.
Pro tip: If you keep your pics after sending them, start a folder on your phone with a benign name and an emoji (think: memes or gifs), set a random picture as the folder cover image, and move your nude photos there once you’re done.
Many modern phones also have an option for hiding those close-ups with a password. That way, if your friends or family members pick up your phone, they won’t get an unexpected eyeful!
Embrace What Makes You Feel Your Sexiest
Unless you have a specific dom/sub arrangement, you do not exist solely for your partner’s pleasure. Learning how to sext should always consider your wants and desires, and your pleasure is equally as important.
Embrace what makes you feel your sexiest, whether a nice piece of lingerie, a new sex toy or vibrator, or having a glass of wine before you sext. If you have a vulva and want to increase sensation even further, try our Awaken Arousal Oil. Trust us; when you feel sexy, you’ll be sexier for your partner too. Everyone wins!
Pull Up a Hot Memory
If you’re learning how to sext with a long-distance partner you’ve been lucky enough to experience in person, use that! Was there a time that you had scorching hot sex?
Remind your partner of it in detail, telling them what part was the hottest for you and why. Plus, this boosts their sexual self-confidence and doesn’t require much creativity (if you’re not great at it yet).
Share New Fantasies
Everyone has fantasies, and many of us feel embarrassed to share them with our partners in real life. However, if you’re with a partner you can trust, don’t be afraid to let them in a little.
You might be surprised, and they may even have the same fantasy! At the very least, a good partner will listen to you and consider your desires when sexting.
Take Advantage of Voice Notes
When learning how to sext, don’t forget about voice notes! While sexting, send them a voice note telling them exactly what you want them to do to you. Bonus points for sending voice notes while you masturbate — talk about steamy!
Build Up a Future Scenario
Instead of just being creative, try to build up a future scenario.
“What would you do if …” is an excellent place to start.
“What would you do if I came to your work right now?”
“What would you do if we were alone at the drive-in?”
Flesh out a sexy scenario and think of it like any other form of role play.
Communicate What You Want
One of the traps people fall into, especially in long-term relationships, is assuming that their partner knows exactly what they want. Sexual communication is possibly the most crucial factor in a banging sex life, and, like consent, it should start before sexting does.
Tell your partner what you like (and don’t like). Once you’ve given your partner access to all your naughty, dirty secrets and desires, they can make them more of a reality.
Ask Your Partner What They Want
If you and your partner are just starting out learning how to sext each other, it’s also essential to ask them what they want! Don’t assume what they’re into sexually.
Ask them questions like “what do you want me to do to you?” or “how do you want it?”.
Once you learn their unique sexting style, you can talk dirty to them in a way you know will turn them on and get them off.
Take Time for Aftercare
Aftercare doesn’t get enough attention, but it’s essential to any type of sexual intimacy. Intimacy doesn’t end as soon as you’ve gotten off, even if you’re not physically in the same place.
The release after an orgasm can also bring some intense emotions, especially if you’re already missing your partner. Check in with your partner and make sure they’re feeling okay, draw yourself a bath, light a candle, pour a glass of wine, and take the time for self-care.
Learning how to send naughty texts is easy and provides an excellent way to maintain intimacy if you and your partner aren’t in the same physical vicinity. When you take our tips and tricks into account, you can use sexting to spice up your sex life, whether your relationship is long-distance or in the same house!
With a bit of creativity and a lot of communication, you can make your sex life the hottest it's ever been.
The Often-Overlooked Importance of Physical Intimacy | The Family Institute
I Ask for Digital Consent | NSVRC
Sexual Communication: The Bedrock to Make Your Bed Rock | Psychology Today
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