How to Choose Your First Sex Toy

by Stevi Sesin
Apr 17, 2026

A Beginner’s Guide to Pleasure from Certified Sex Coach Stevi Sesin

Buying your first sex toy can feel like a big step.

Maybe you’re curious. Maybe you’re a little nervous. Maybe you’ve opened a website or walked into a shop and immediately felt overwhelmed by all the options.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

For many people, choosing a first toy isn’t just about pleasure—it’s about permission. Permission to explore, to feel, and to get to know your body in a new way.

And that’s something worth approaching with care, curiosity, and compassion.

Let Stevi Sesin, a certified intimacy coach, sex educator, and the creator behind Intimacy Hotline, walk you through how to choose your first sex toy, and she helps her clients do just that.

Prefer to watch? Watch the video on our YouTube channel.

A New Kind of First Step

Recently, a client of mine decided they were ready to buy their first sex toy. We went to a local shop together, and what stood out most wasn’t the products — it was the emotion behind the experience.

They felt unsure. Hesitant. Like they needed to pick the “right” toy — as if one decision would define their entire relationship with pleasure.

This is incredibly common.

But here’s the truth: your first sex toy is not about getting it perfect.

It’s about getting started.

Pleasure Is Something You Learn

We’re often taught to think of pleasure as something that should come naturally — but like anything else, it’s something we learn over time.

Your first toy is simply an entry point.

It’s an invitation to ask:

What feels good to me?
What am I curious about?
What happens when I slow down and listen to my body?

There is no pressure to perform. No expectation to reach a specific outcome.

Just exploration.

Where to Start: Keeping It Simple

When choosing your first toy, simplicity and comfort matter more than intensity or complexity.

Here are a few gentle guidelines to help you begin:

Choose body-safe materials: Look for toys made from high-quality silicone. They’re soft, non-porous, and safe for your body.
Start with steady vibration: If you’re using a vibrator, simple, consistent vibration patterns are often easier to explore than complicated settings.
Let your intuition guide you: What feels inviting? What looks approachable? Sometimes your body knows before your mind does.
Hold it in your hand first: Notice how it feels — its weight, shape, and texture. Comfort in your hand often translates to comfort in your body.

Supporting Your Experience with Lubrication

One of the most important (and often overlooked) elements of a positive first experience is lubrication.

A high-quality lubricant can make everything feel smoother, more comfortable, and more pleasurable—especially when you’re just beginning to explore.

Foria’s Sex Oil is a beautiful option for this. Made with clean, body-friendly ingredients, it enhances sensation while supporting relaxation and ease. Just be sure to check compatibility with your toy to ensure everything works harmoniously together. If you want to be extra sure, Foria’s Juicy Pure water-based lube was made to be compatible with all types of toys, and is another great option.