If the idea of a little backdoor fun makes you feel equally intimidated and turned on, you’ve come to the right place! Anal play can be naughty, pleasurable, and extremely satisfying when you go into it with a few tips, an open mind, and plenty of lube!
Are you interested in going a little deeper? We’ve got you covered.
Why Does Anal Sex Feel So Good?
Anal sex is still taboo for many, but we’re ready to dispel the stigma. The anus is super rich with nerve endings, and the anal canal has even more. If you’ve tried it before and it just felt uncomfortable, you probably weren’t doing it right — and that’s okay!
With a few tips, butt stuff can be incredibly pleasurable for people with any type of body and sexual orientation. It can also make you feel extra naughty (in a good way) and allow you to let go in a whole new way.
Understand the Need for Communication
As with all forms of intimacy, communication is a crucial part of the package. Anal sex can bring up a lot of different feelings — before, during, and after messing around. For this reason, starting solid, healthy communication is crucial before taking your clothes off. Not wanting to talk about butt stuff but still expecting it to happen is a huge red flag.
How Can I Prep for Anal Play?
Prep work is crucial to making butt stuff a pleasurable experience. Too many people jump right into anal penetration without taking any first steps, leading to uncomfortable experiences that turn them off to ever trying again.
We know you’re excited (and you should be), but take the following steps before anal play. You won’t regret it.
Talk About Comfort Levels
Discussing your boundaries and comfort levels with your partner shouldn’t be something you do while things are hot and heavy. Discuss what you both want before getting down to business so that you can make sure not to cross anyone’s lines and keep the experience positive and pleasurable.
You should probably also talk about the elephant in the room — poo. There’s always the possibility that anal play can get a little messy. While there are ways to reduce that risk, talk about it ahead of time to resolve any awkward feelings. It’s okay to feel awkward and silly!
Any good anal play sesh starts with plenty of lube. In fact, using lube should be an absolute non-negotiable, especially if you’re the person experiencing penetration. Unlike the vagina, the anal canal can’t make its own natural lubrication. If you don’t use lube, anal play is guaranteed to be uncomfortable or painful and can lead to tearing or bleeding. Definitely no fun.
Groom Your Fingernails
No matter what body you were born into, clean hands are a must before any form of sexual intimacy. The anal area is incredibly sensitive, so anyone in contact with it (penetration or not) should take the time to cut and file their fingernails before getting naked.
A few minutes beforehand can help reduce the risk of unintended scratches, tearing, or discomfort.
Get Comfortable With Rimming
Before taking it all the way, consider rimming. Also known as a rim job, rimming is where you or your partner stimulates the anus with their tongue (similar to oral sex).
Rimming helps to stimulate the nerve endings of the anus and get it prepped for other forms of play, including penetration. Plus, it just feels good!
Discuss Levels of Penetration
Butt play doesn’t have to be full penetration; there are varying levels that you can do according to your and your lover’s comfort zone. You can keep it outside, use a fingertip, insert multiple fingers, or even try fisting once you’re more experienced. There’s no right or wrong answer as long as you both know where the limits are before playtime.
Take Advantage of Butt Plugs and Anal Beads
If you want to take it up a notch, there are sex toys available that can make butt stuff even more exciting. Butt plugs and anal beads can be used on their own or inserted during other forms of sexual activity to heighten the sensation further.
If you’ve never played with either before, we recommend starting with a small butt plug (and plenty of lube) and graduating to other, larger options once you’re ready.
Try a Dildo
If you want full penetration but lack a penis (or don’t feel comfortable with traditional penetration), use a dildo! Dildos come in all different shapes and sizes, so you can find one that will work perfectly for your level of anal play.
Just make sure to clean it thoroughly before putting it away! You can also use vibrators, but the level of stimulation they provide may be too much for beginners — save that until you’re more experienced.
How To Get Ready for Your Partner
If you’re the booty in question, consider taking a shower and having a bowel movement an hour or so before game time. Some people also like to perform a home enema, but that is up to you. If you feel comfortable, you can also insert a well-lubed finger or two as a warm-up to help relax your muscles before the big show.
If it’s your first time trying butt stuff, you may also want to consider using an Intimacy Melt. Gently insert a suppository into your anus up to an hour before anal play. The melt will absorb in about 15 minutes, leaving you relaxed and ready for more pleasurable penetration. It can’t hurt to do some foreplay — you won’t want to feel tense!
What Are the Best Positions for Anal Sex?
Finding the best positions to do butt stuff can be fun if you’re up for some experimentation. Change it up until you find one that works for both of you, and don’t be afraid to try something new! Here are a few of our favorites to get you started:
- Spooning - Laying on your side with your knees pulled into your chest is an excellent starter position to do butt stuff. Spooning helps open up and relax your rectum, making for easier penetration — but that doesn’t mean you can forget the lube!
- Sitting - For anal play newbies, any position that lets you have more control is the way to go. Have your partner sit in a chair or on the side of the bed, then lower yourself down on top of them.
- Reverse cowgirl - If your partner likes to watch, give the reverse cowgirl position a shot. You still have all the power over the penetration depth, but your partner gets a sexy show.
What if Butt Stuff Hurts?
There may be discomfort during anal play, especially if you’re still figuring out how to make it work for you. Most of the time, you can resolve minor discomfort by just adding more lube and going much more slowly.
However, if lube doesn’t solve the issue or if the pain is getting worse, it’s time to take a breather. While anal play is usually safe, not listening to your body can lead to tearing, hemorrhoids, infection, and bleeding. Don’t just push through; stop while you’re ahead.
Don’t Skip Butt Aftercare
Once you’re done experimenting, don’t forget the aftercare! Take a few minutes to clean yourself up and any sex toys you may have used, then check in with your partner. You can also use our Intimacy Melts if you’re experiencing any residual soreness.
A little aftercare goes a long way toward maintaining your physical and emotional health and building your bond with your partner.
Butt stuff doesn’t have to be taboo and anal play can be far more pleasurable than you might think! Incorporating the proper prep work before messing around can set the stage for successful, hot, mutually enjoyable anal play with your lover. Don’t be afraid to try butt stuff for yourself; it’s time to move past stigma and own your sexual desires!
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