How to Plan a Sexy Valentine's Date Night In

There are countless reasons to enjoy Valentine’s Day at home – even when a global pandemic isn’t (still!) a factor. Lines at restaurants are long, special menus are overpriced, and booking a couple’s massage at a hotel is next to impossible.

Also, romantic Valentine’s Day dates can be pretty generic. We’re supposed to want candlelight, chocolates, soft music and rose petals, and if we really truly do, that’s great – but what if we don’t

As nice as all those things are, what if there are other things to do on Valentine’s Day that are unique, specific to us, and turn up our turn-on much faster, hotter and better than anything we might see on a TV commercial?

We encourage you to get back to basics when planning a sexy Valentine’s Day at home – and by “basics”, we mean the five senses. 

Sight, sound, smell, touch and taste are the roots of how we perceive our reality, and by examining how you really love to feel – together – you can create a Valentine’s date night at home that you’ll never forget.

Setting the stage.

For starters, consider changing your usual environment so it becomes unusual. This is a great opportunity for romantic collaboration. 

Roses and candlelight are the standard V-Day suggestions, but what if you’d rather have orchids and blacklight? Or daisies and sunshine? 

Or you could have an adventure and find your flowers from an out-of-the-ordinary source, and festoon the whole place with Christmas lights (for the lazy, a great way to disguise messes) when you return.

The idea here is to figure out what you like, what you find romantic and stimulating, and construct your environment accordingly. Guess what: this is foreplay.

In the realm of the senses.

Even before you start building the set for your theater of love, have a freewheeling conversation with your lover about what sensations turn you on. 

Share memories, free-associate, submerge in your streams of consciousness. Try passing notes if you’re shy, or swap a journal. The goal is to find the places where your turn-ons overlap, and then lean into them until you never want to leave.

Really truly feeling is key to getting out of our heads and into our bodies, which makes for out-of-this-world intimacy. To start, know thyself.


Some of us are more visually attuned than others. Many people know exactly what sights and images turn them on, down to the last detail; others aren’t erotically stimulated by visuals at all, and some enjoy a more ambiguous turn-on – “the color lavender” as opposed to “a cheerleader outfit”, for instance. 

Regardless of what you think you find sexy to look at, Valentine’s Day at home is a fantastic opportunity to discover – or rediscover – new ways to tickle your libido via your hungry eyes.

Did one scene in a movie really get you going, but you’re not quite sure why? Try revisiting it, and see what happens. Do you have a favorite scene in porn that you’ve never shared with your partner? Here’s a perfect opportunity. Do you have an outfit that you feel sexy in? Put it on and describe those feelings. 

The point here is to break out of your usual routine – it’s a holiday, after all.


When we think about the romance of sound, we might imagine Tchaikovsky’s “Romeo and Juliet”, smooth jazz, or seductive R&B – the music that plays under sexy scenes in movies, and for good reason!

But what if other music or sounds turn you on, even if it doesn’t fit the “romantic” mold? Guess what – it’s romantic. If it feels sexy to you, it is.

If you met your first real, libido-awakening crush at a punk show, and the band will always remind you of sweating all over each other in the mosh pit – that sounds pretty dang romantic to us. Find a live recording on YouTube and try a dramatic reenactment (careful with the furniture!)

Or maybe it isn’t music that rings your bell, but sounds. Heavy rain, wordless whispering, pounding surf, the roaring engines at a monster truck demolition rally… if it turns you on, it counts.

And if you’ve never tried audio erotica, we’re huge fans. Put something spicy on the stereo and don’t be surprised if you never make it to the bedroom.


“How do you like to be touched?” is such a hot phrase. And most of us know how we like to be touched, and how our partner does – especially if we’ve been together for a long time. But do we really? Is there another realm of touch that we love, but don’t think of as “sexy”... yet?

Sometimes, there are aspects of touch that we indulge in privately, that feel good to us – but it would never occur to us to share. Perhaps a snug, utilitarian corset, the kind that’s intended to make clothes look better. Underwear designed for a gender other than ours. Heels just a little too high or too tight. Unusual textures – sandpaper, ribbed cotton, the kids’ toy slime, and so forth.

Again, breaking the mold of what’s considered “sexy” can be key to unearthing what we really find sexy. People are strange, strange can be very hot, and sharing our version of strange is tantalizing, vulnerable and deeply intimate.

And if you don’t know how your partner really likes to be touched, or how you do – what better time to find out than a Valentine’s Day date at home?

Smell and taste.

These are primal, mysterious senses, and deeply connected with memory. Smell and taste are also profoundly grounding; if you’ve ever cooked a great meal for someone and watched them fall silent, you know what we mean. Delicious aromas and flavors can get you into your body like nothing else.

Like “sexy” music, there’s a limited list of “sexy” foods most people in Western culture can easily identify. Chocolate, oysters, caviar, strawberries and cream – in the popular lexicon, romantic foods tend to be rich, bite-sized, and expensive. 

But what if someone’s allergic to seafood, or someone has never admitted they’re not a huge fan of chocolate, or the budget doesn’t allow for patisserie swans?

There’s a good chance that one or both of you find an edible or two deeply sexy, even if you’d never see it featured in a romantic movie. 

The living-on-the-edge danger of the best tacos in town, cadged from a truck next to a gas station. Blood-pumping Thai curry, singing with fish sauce and chile pepper. Reenacting the spaghetti scene from “Lady and the Tramp”. 

Or maybe the sexiest thing imaginable is not having to cook, and sending your partner out for an assortment of no-effort nibbles.

Again – if it’s an aphrodisiac to you, it’s an aphrodisiac!

And speaking of… we designed Awaken, our cult-favorite arousal oil, to serve dual duty. Its effective all-natural and organic botanicals work with your body to heighten sensation and access to orgasm – and it also smells and tastes delicious. 

We’ve heard from members of our community that just a whiff of Awaken turns them on – and our Intimacy Bath Salts feature the same scent profile. Cover all your bases and start making some juicy memories. (Or make it a Quickie!)

Bringing it home.

So you’ve had your unique, customized, throw-out-the-playbook-and-get-wild Valentine’s Day at home. You’ve tuned in, turned on, and had all the orgasms you can stand.

What are you gonna do now? Clean up the mess and go to sleep?

You could – but we suggest continuing to explore what makes you happy, even if the sex part is over for now. Try reading to each other – maybe something funny. Build a blanket fort in the living room. (If the kiddos are out with a sitter, they’ll be delighted when they get home.) Record Sunday’s big game, make a pact to avoid spoilers, and finish your date night rooting for your team as hard as you can.

Or whatever else you can think of! The trick is to get real with you. 

Valentine’s Day comes once a year, but you can bring this year’s lessons with you for a long, long, sexy time.

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