While there are many potential causes of painful sex, they’re often elusive, and people may be self-conscious about seeking medical help – and even mainstream science hasn’t made much progress in this area.
Fortunately, with the help of some hands-on tools, and plant medicines including CBD oil, many people are finding that they really can have pain-free – even pleasurable – sex.
The Basics
There are many reasons why someone might experience genital pain, and the approach to healing must be as dynamic as the body itself.
The pelvis is a sexual, hormonal, structural, and emotional epicenter of our bodies. Any inflammation, injury, trauma, and/or muscular tension can impact how we experience arousal, and may contribute to pain.
“When approaching the topic of pain with my clients,” says Kiana Reeves, a pelvic health practitioner and doula (and Foria’s Chief Brand Educator), “I pay attention to their emotions, biochemistry, biomechanics, muscular tension, past injuries, and postural habits, and scar tissue — all to understand the WHY behind their experiences.”
When you should go to a doctor
Lack of lubrication or muscle fatigue may cause occasional pain after sex. If pain is sharp, burning, overwhelming, or happens regularly, talk to your gynecologist – these symptoms may be a sign of a serious underlying condition.
A word of caution: if your gyno tells you that the pain is “normal” or “all in your head” -- find another doctor. These issues have been dismissed by the medical establishment for generations. Prioritize finding a doctor who is genuinely interested in helping you, reaching a diagnosis, and determining the right treatment.
Holistic Approaches to Painful Sex
Inflammation and tension in the pelvic floor are common themes when it comes to pelvic pain, whether it’s the result of scar tissue, hormones, or emotional experiences being held in the body.
On a physical level, A number of modalities can help with pelvic floor function, muscle tension, and somatic awareness. Reeves recommends working with a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist, Sexological Bodyworker, or a Holistic Pelvic Care provider.
Since the nervous system plays a major role, Reeves often recommends trauma-resilience therapies, such as EMDR or Somatic Experiencing. Both of these modalities focus on relieving chronic stress and trauma responses that can cause unconscious contraction or “holding” in the body. These approaches are distinct from traditional talk therapy (though that can also be useful).
Beyond these clinical approaches, when it comes to actually engaging in sex or self-pleasure, Reeves says her clients benefit from approaches that “promote relaxation and bloodflow to the genitals while decreasing pain, and ‘rewiring’ the nervous system to create a sensation of safety.”
When it comes to creating relaxation and bloodflow, Reeves believes in the benefits of Awaken Arousal Oil with CBD. Awaken is not just a CBD lube — so it can support blood flow to the tissues of the vulva and vagina, increasing lubrication and enhancing pleasurable sensation.
One of Awaken's key ingredients is Kava Kava, which both relieves pain, and promotes relaxation. The other key ingredient, CBD, is anti-inflammatory, aids blood flow by dilating blood vessels, and decreases muscle tension.
The combination of these plants – with cacao, cinnamon, mint, vanilla, and cardamom in a liquid coconut oil – is terrific support for enhancing your arousal capacity and decreasing the tension and inflammation that can prevent pleasure.
There’s also the aroma — natural minty chocolate — which is a potent cue for the nervous system to anticipate decadent enjoyment. (Reeves discusses the power of aroma for “rewiring” the nervous system in this video.)
Awaken won’t necessarily fix the problem, but it can be reparative to your nervous system by setting new patterns of pleasurable sexual experiences — so you don’t anticipate pain each time.
Common causes of pain
Micro-tears: The lining of the vaginal canal and inner labia is a mucous membrane. Muscosa likes to be moist, and is prone to micro-tears when there is a lack of lubrication. Too much friction and not enough lube is a recipe for a sore vagina, so a good chemical-free lube can be your BFF.
Untreated STI’s or infections: When an infection goes untreated it can irritate the delicate lining of the vaginal wall and vulva, causing inflammation, and making you more susceptible to pain. Many STI’s are treatable with antibiotics.
Chemicals and pH disruption: The vagina has a delicate pH that doesn’t like to be messed with — especially by soaps, lubes, and douching. Any products that touch the skin of your genitals should be as natural and neutral as possible, and please skip the douching entirely – it messes with your internal flora.
Latex Allergy: Some people are allergic to latex but don’t know it. If you feel sore after using latex condoms, there are other options, like natural skins, polyisoprene, polyurethane, and nitrile.
Muscle Soreness: Soreness or tenderness after a romp with your lover is somewhat common and different from the sharp, constant, and sometimes unbearable pain that many people experience during and after penetration.
Hormonal Changes: Hormones have a big impact on our genitals. Estrogen declines steeply during menopause and, often, postpartum. This hormone is responsible for much of the plumpness and lubrication in our vaginal tissues. During these life changes, it’s essential to support your tender tissues by using a vaginal moisturizer, lube always, and encouraging a healthy hormone balance.
Scar Tissue: Scar tissue from surgeries, episiotomies, and tears from childbirth can all contribute to painful sex. Injured tissue can inhibit the proper bloodflow necessary for arousal — impairing lubrication and increasing pain. Lack of lubrication can also cause small amounts of scar tissue to form around sensitive areas. Scar tissue responds well to castor oil and CBD, both of which have anti-inflammatory and healing properties. Doing a self-massage with these plant oils, or working with someone trained in genital scar tissue remediation can be beneficial and healing.
Other Causes: Hormonal, autoimmune, and inflammatory biochemical factors contribute to pain, and there’s often a link with our reaction to emotions and life experiences.
Several common pain conditions with these sorts of contributing factors include:
- Endometriosis
- Vulvodynia
- Vaginismus
- Lichen sclerosus
- Interstitial cystitis
Unfortunately, these conditions often go undiagnosed. If you are experiencing painful sex, see if these symptoms sound familiar and (if you have an empathetic gynecologist) consider asking to be evaluated for these conditions.
Again, a multi-faceted approach is essential to healing and preventing painful sex. Determine the correct nutrition and hormone balance for your biochemistry. Work with trauma-informed practitioners to address any negative experiences that may be stored in your body. And for sex and self-exploration, keep tools like Awaken or other high-quality CBD products on hand.
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