8 "Sex Secrets" That Actually Make Sex BETTER

Whether it’s more pleasure, more connection, or simply more — everyone is interested in getting more from their sex life. 

While many folks turn to expensive products or workshops in the quest for better sex — they don’t necessarily have to. It’s easier (and more fun!) to make small changes that add up to big improvements. 

 Whether you’re a man or a woman, your capacity for sexual pleasure & health is impacted much more by your physical and emotional balance than any technique or product. Of course, the right foods and supplements can make a huge difference in this area. And there really are natural aphrodisiacs that help enhance sensation and pleasure while minimizing discomfort. 

So here are a variety of tips and tricks that you or your partner can experiment with to enhance and improve your sexual health and satisfaction. Ready for some fun...and a little bit of a workout?  

1. Pelvic Practice

Decades of scientific research has demonstrated that your ability to orgasm is closely linked with the health of your pelvic floor. Male or female, when your pelvic floor is toned you have more access to your orgasmic ability, along with a deeper range of pleasurable sensations. 

 Perhaps the most famous technique for toning pelvic floor muscles are the world-famous “Kegel” exercises (named after the gynecologist who first prescribed them for his patients). Although many people know about kegel exercises, most don’t make a regular practice of it. Others attempt the exercises but never really learned the full technique, so they don’t experience progress, and give up the practice. This is where Kegel tools can really make a difference... 

2. Tools for Women

Women have the option to use exercise aids such as yoni eggs and kegel weights. (Yes, you heard that right. “Yoni Eggs” or “Jade Eggs” are beautiful stones polished to the perfect size and shape to turn kegel-style exercises into a much more effective practice, because they physically “guide” the body and provide tactile feedback with every level of contraction and release.. 

 Yoni eggs (along with other tools and toys) gently stimulate vaginal tissue while increasing blood flow to the nerve endings, helping to increase sensation. After working with yoni eggs, many women have reported experiencing different kinds of orgasms, and easier access to G spot orgasms. For some women, yoni eggs create a new relationship with their entire body — not just their vaginal anatomy — because all regions of the body are so deeply interwoven. 

 Although a weak pelvic floor is a problem, a floor that’s chronically-tight can be just as debilitating. When pelvic muscles are tight and shortened they can restrict blood flow and inhibit sensation. As any physical therapist or sports masseuse will tell you, chronically-contracted muscle fibers are weaker so the goal is “toned and flexible” not “rock-hard.” This is why some women move up to larger yoni eggs to gently increase vaginal flexibility as well as strength.

3. Pelvic Massage

Sometimes, the most effective approach is “therapeutic” instead of “athletic.” That can be especially true with sex and sexuality.

Pelvic massage is a therapeutic system that can help women release and heal these deeper blockages, both physically and psychologically. Pelvic massage can include everything from abdominal organ massage, to deep tissue work on the hips and thighs, to internal touch & exploration of the vagina. 

A number of things can cause chronic tightness in the pelvic muscles — everything from sexual trauma, to scar tissue, to cultural shame around sex. Because of the nature of this work, it’s mandatory to have a skilled, sensitive practitioner whom you trust and feel comfortable with. The best practitioners will tailor their approach to each client’s unique medical and emotional history. 

If it’s not possible to find this sort of therapeutic bodywork in your county, there’s always the option to do your own healing work. And “healing work” can be a lot of fun too... 

4. Self-Pleasure. Self-Discovery.

Sometimes nothing is more healing than a profound wave of natural pleasure, a.k.a. good clean fun. 

Self-pleasuring is more than just a release. It can take you on a journey down new pathways to orgasm, or deepen your relationship with yourself via healing pleasure. 

Exploratory pleasuring also greatly increases your ability to communicate with a partner about what feels good and what you want more of. No two people are wired exactly alike, so knowing your own body is an essential part of being able to experience sexual pleasure. Essentially, understanding your unique response to sensation gives you a road map that’s useful when you’re deep in the heat of passion. 

Self-pleasuring can also help you become more comfortable with your own body. Many of us experience shame and disconnect with our bodies, especially around sexual maters. Setting aside the time to love and explore your body will slowly and gently start to change the way you see yourself. 

Many experts advise self-pleasuring without pushing too hard for the familiar orgasmic goals. Goal-directed thought can actually interfere with sex, taking one out of the moment and decreasing enjoyment of the entire process. This non-goal-directed exploration can actually lead to new heights of arousal and deeper release.

5. Cannabis Lube

When medications for erectile dysfunction first took the world by storm, journalists and medical experts commented on the fact that women didn’t have a similar product available for sexual health and enjoyment. 

But then, a California company developed the world’s first sex lube infused with Cannabis, aka “weed for your vagina.” A few spritzes of the all-natural oil, massaged into the labia, clitoris, and vagina heighten arousal and pleasurable sensations. 

Crazy as that sounds, the lube‚ FORIA Pleasure, earned rave reviews for enhancing relaxation, arousal, sensation, and desire, while helping many women enjoy deeper, more pleasurable orgasms. (Check out real reviews and testimonials here). 

How does it work? The active ingredient, THC, is absorbed through the highly vascular tissue of the vagina, supporting increased blood flow and decreased muscle tension, while helping to reduce inflammation and pain signalling. And it does this all without the psychoactive “buzz” typically associated with Cannabis. (That’s because the THC is absorbed locally and doesn’t circulate to the brain.) 

Ultimately, “weed lube” has opened up a new realm of sexual exploration and healing for women, who can combine it with the gentle practices of self-massage and more advanced pelvic floor exercises.

Unfortunately, not all women live in California or Colorado, where FORIA Pleasure is legal... 

6. “Non-Cannabis” Cannabis Lube

For those of us who don’t live in weed-friendly states, FORIA developed an alternative formula that’s legal across the USA and around the world. Called FORIA Awaken, it works in much the same way, but with the added benefit of being available for shipping everywhere in the world. 

How do you make weed lube without weed? 

The secret is that cannabis isn’t the only plant that affects the vagina this way. In fact, medical cannabis research has begun to reveal numerous herbs and plants that work on the body in similar ways to cannabis. 

Based on this research, FORIA was able to combine an extract from Hemp (the legal version of cannabis) with exotic herbs like Kava Kava, and fragrant medicinal essential oils like cardamom, mint, vanilla and chocolate. 

This new botanical formula stimulates the same pathways in the body that increase relaxation, sensation, and arousal. The reviews have been ecstatic. (See for yourself.) 

Because of its unique formula, FORIA Awaken can help to unlock tension and diminish discomfort while enhancing sensation and enjoyment. 

Currently, most FORIA customers use Awaken for both self-pleasuring and exploration with a partner. The minty, chocolaty, tingly coconut oil is a lot of fun to apply, with a great aroma and a clean, lubricating feel. 

Be sure to follow the instructions, which specify applying FORIA and helping it absorb with gentle massage or oral pleasure, until the formula has fully absorbed and activated. And then, get ready for a wild ride! 

7. Boost Your Libido...by Making Time for Yourself

It may sound strange, but spending more time alone can actually increase your libido! 

Sexual desire is a complex cocktail of hormones, self-perception and esteem, and your feelings about your life, your partner, and your surroundings. 

We are hugely impacted by what is going on in the landscape of our minds and hearts. When you make a priority of doing a few things a week that make you feel inspired, joyful, centered, creative, and good; you start to reprogram your nervous system. 

Taking a walk in nature, cooking delicious food, singing to your plants, painting, or reading your favorite book all tell your nervous system that you have enough energy to take care of your deep personal needs. This decreases stress hormones like cortisol (which totally suppress the sex drive) and starts a cascade of other hormones and neurotransmitters that can increase feelings of empowerment and desire. 

8. Experiment with your sexual edges

Remember the times in your life when you were wildly turned on and your mind (and body) felt absolutely focused on their desire? 

 Most likely those memories are associated with a novel, or unique experience, or the very beginning of a relationship, when you were just getting to know each other. 

No one wants to have boring, redundant, and unexciting sex, but we can be creatures of habit and fall into less than exciting sexual patterns in and out of relationships. So how can you find your edge even in long term relationships? 

This is where exploring fantasy and learning to communicate about those inner desires come into play. Sharing deeper fantasies doesn’t mean they need to become reality, but it does mean you get to engage with your partner in a new and deeply exciting way. It opens up the doors of exploration, and everyone will get excited about that. 

One of the best parts of great sex is that it is otherworldly, and we come closest to our primal nature. When we share this part of ourselves with another person, including the images, desires, toys, or situations that that flash in our minds privately there is no roadmap to where it may lead, and that is what makes it so powerful.